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“Why do you listen to her? She can’t sing!”

“You need to listen to more of the ones from your background!”

“She’s no Beyonce!!!”

“She’s an entertainer, not a singer.”

20 years of my life I’ve heard the dismissal of one Britney Spears, “The Queen of Pop”, “Princess of Pop,” The sugary teenager who is innocent, and dated the golden boy until he dissed her on a song and music video, that made it look like she cheated.

When in actuality, all Britney wanted to do was go for her dream, help her struggling parents, and enjoy what came. Who would think that her life would be heartache, trauma, gaslighting, and greed, from all the ones she loved.

It’s been a minute since I said this, I am a Britney Spears fan. Not a “Stan”, as that’s a bit much in any fandom and needs to be dropped completely, I digress. A week ago, Britney Spears came out with the fastest celebrity memoir to date, “The Woman In Me”.

This memoir takes the whole ordeal from her perspective brings to light many controversial deals in her life, and adds many explanations that were just seen by the public eye as odd, irrational, and crazy. No one thought that her cutting off her hair was a response to her ex-husband not letting her see her sons’, which was part of a bigger scheme to get to her money from her father, Jean Spears.

To date, I was stunned by all these deals I never suspected. I heard of the conservatorship and thought at least her dad was looking out for her, though that was never the case. I heard from my own parent when Britney got off it with the words “Her dad had a better hold on her, she doesn’t know what she was doing. She’s not educated.”

I look back on that sentence and shudder. How fucking foolish I was for going along with that and not saying anything, but who am I but a fan. Of course, I felt bad for Britney, however recalling EVERYTHING I heard back then, made me not express my opinion.

To now knowing what the deal was in Britney’s own words.

She had a dream she pursued, and it goes into what she experienced as a pre-teen doing The Mickey Mouse Club with some famous actors, singers, etc., to her flying out to Jersey, and out of the country at points to do her first album, which put her on the map to stardom, and the crooked path her life would turn.

In the book, she shares personal history where she was close to her great-grandmother, that her grandfather was an abusive drunk to her dad and his siblings, to his own children, all before Jamie Lynn Spears was born. Her mom was rather mousy and screamed at her husband for getting drunk, Britney’s relationship with her brother was close at one point but eventually faded due to growing up.

Her life wasn’t perfect as we all assumed. Just because she is a southern girl, caucasian, and pretty, that she wouldn’t have hardships is one of the peaks of being an ass. She is a person that isn’t perfect, that does whatever we do.

Though through all the pain that happened then, when she came out with her first hit single “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, it took off like hotcakes. She was on everyone’s lips, and then “Sometimes”, to “Born to Make You Happy”, to name a few, we all loved it, particularly ones that liked that brand of music or her.

She then wound up falling head over heels for Justin Timberlake, and from what the memoir reads, she was in love with him. He felt the same way, though he had a wandering eye and did cheat on her. Yes, she brought it up, only once in the relationship but that’s all. She was loyal.

Then enter one of the biggest revelations to date, she wound up pregnant with a child. Now, she does say she agreed to the abortion after Justin said they were too young, and he didn’t want to be a father, she agreed, though through a lot of strain on his part.

Yes, both consented to it, however, Justin really felt strongly not wanting to be a dad then and there and that could be code for “I want to have more fun”, IMO, but that’s not important. In order to keep this hidden from the public, He and Britney’s then assistant was able to get a pill to cut the pregnancy, and they did it at her home (not Lousiana, the one she brought on the West Coast or something) and no one that was medically trained was there, she took it and it was one of the worst experiences she ever went through.

She remembers it to this day. It took a toll on Britney emotionally, especially since no one knew. Justin apparently at one point came in and strummed a guitar when she was going through it…at least he tried.

That was one of the first pulls of her life about to turn upside down. Britney continues that she loved him enough to do that but if she were really given a choice, she would have had the baby. Then around 01, Justin broke up with her via text message and it broke her.

As she tells it, she went home and was an empty husk while he wrote her a letter and framed it to give to her after the breakup…

Now, another deal, Cry Me A River the music video came out and accused her of cheating, and that broke the dam of accusations, cutting remarks from the public to her being booed for doing that to the golden boy. She was a harlot, a scarlet letter.

Though he was the one to cheat on occasion, she never once said anything and kept the peace. That Barbara Walters talk where she made Britney cry is now infamous, and if that lady were still around, I’d hope she apologized for doing that and shaming her.

Britney was loyal and in love with that idiot, and this, along with public opinion thinking she doesn’t care for younger fans who are emulating her, and her words being taken out of context and framed as a negative deal, when that wasn’t the case.

Even some other artists had some beef with her for being too “pop” and thinking she’s some beast taking credibility from them. Eminem, Dr. Dre, and some others, I’m appalled by grown adults thinking a flipping teenager is going to cause you harm.

Fuck them.

Justin might not have any words currently, however, he villinized her, and the nipple slip deal with Janet Jackson is also now suspect (it has been but I didn’t think much of it at the time but now…) and he never owned up to it. He is a narcissist. Nothing against his wife and kids, Justin has a lot to own up to and I for one will never listen to his music again.

Britney’s video and song, “Every time” was a song over the baby she cut and not over that asshole, Justin. See how it’s coming together and making sense?

Britney also details the short annulled marriage from a childhood friend, and they did it due to it being Vegas, and nothing serious happened. They were watching movies. Her parents saw this as the worst thing and came marching in to fix it and annul the marriage and unfortunately, this was another slash against her in the public eye.

The parents who were not dependable came in with marching orders. This wreaked Britney into thinking she wasn’t smart enough and brought shame to the family. No one stood by her. With the breakup, public ridicule, and this, she was at a standstill.

Here comes Kevin Federline.

I don’t really wanna go into detail, you probably know his deal, but he’s a cad. Dated Britney while Shar Jackson was pregnant with their second child and she had no idea. Federline gave her the one thing she always wanted, comfort.

This in turn was the “Out of pocket” era I call it of Britney’s life and once he got Britney pregnant with their child Sean Preston, and then Jaden, Kevin wanted to make an album that was not well received. While making the album he shut out Britney and didn’t even bother with his kids. He smoked weed and partied with celebs. She tried to fight for the marriage to no avail.

Britney then, while she had her mom watch her sons, went to party respectfully with one Paris Hilton and Linsey Lohan at that point in time. Paris saw Britney and helped her out by just having fun. Paris is a real one, she saw her in pain and helped her. They were not going wild and crazy, they got tipsy and that’s it. No shenanigans as the media was pulling, and I’m ashamed I fell for it.

Paris played the game of “bimbo” well and no one thought she had any agency due to the sex tape deal but she saw her friend in a miserable state and knew to lend an ear and be there as best she could. Britney acknowledges this and is forever grateful.

Also, Britney does not much detail about going off on one of Jamie Lynn’s co-stars on the Nickelodeon show “Zoe 101” when she was heavily pregnant. Britney apologizes to the actress she did that too and now knows Jamie was at fault.

Not perfect and she owns up to it.

Now, for the head shaving incident, Kevin wouldn’t let her see her kids due to thinking she was crazy and all that when in actuality, she was dealing with Postpartum after Jaden, and no one didn’t even see that. Think about everything that was said, and to now know the reasons, it makes sense.

No one was on her side. Then her Dad came over to bring forth the Conservatorship which brought nothing but misery and gaslighting to her. Britney felt like she was going crazy and not as smart as the courts and her family made it seem.

She was placed on a diet of canned foods, gained weight, and did extensive exercises while her family was eating off her bucks, and she couldn’t even pay for a one-night deal of treating her backup dancers to a meal due to her card getting declined.

Britney also shares her stints at a mental institution due to machinations and the “Free Britney Movement” that happened a few years ago, which gave her hope. She feels slightly abashed with the Britney documentary from Hulu that came out without her say-so or if she felt comfortable with it.

Eventually, she was able to get an attorney to explain her situation and he was appalled that no one told her she could have an attorney while under Conservatorship. This is recent news so I encourage you to look it up as I only know basic of the basic of the goings on with it but it’s a shitty situation and I’m happy she can make her own choices now, even if they are an eyebrow raise.

Some small details, anyone she dated at the time had to go through an extensive background check, and explain her “mental problems”. When she got a trainer and got her on some good vitamins and an exercise regimen, she was slowly getting better and her father and others shut that down to make her a puppet once again.

It’s nothing but misery she went through and it’s from her fucking family.

Family. The whole “stand by family” they were fucking with her life and making it look like she wasn’t smart when in actuality she is. She is cognizant of what money she was spending and kept receipts until her dad came in and threw them in the trash.

Jamie Lynn, her little sister is also guilty of not sticking with her sister, who did a lot for her and she comes off as ungrateful and spoiled. Yes, successful show, but she’s two-faced. I believe she’s got her own flock of kids. Nothing against them, many blessings to their life but, their mama is just wicked.

Her mother is also guilty and I can’t get the words to describe her deal except, get bent.

I feel that anyone who reads this should go pick up the book and see for themselves. I was able to finish it within a few hours of getting it. I no longer view anyone who can criticize Britney in any capacity without reading her life in her own words and still see her as some threat.

“She can’t sing and dance” deal is over for me. I like her music. I like her singing. She isn’t undereducated as a lot of parents assume due to various dealings in her life. She was a girl with big dreams and the life she had had up to this time had been silent.

Britney has nothing but love for her fans, family (children and new husband), and some friends (hopefully). However she states that she can’t ever trust again due to everything, and I hope she is able to do that one day.

She might be doing eyebrow raises moments on IG but it’s her choice. We all have it. The choice to be vile. The choice to be an asshole. A choice to spread goodwill when needed.

Choice is something we take for granted, and we should be happy that we have it in any capacity for good or bad. When someone with vile intentions takes that from us, it could be too late to change it, but luckily enough, Britney was able to find the fire to take back her life from her family.

She is content to never see them again but still holds no intent for them.

Britney Spears has grace as I see it.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel about anyone you like.

I’ll be sure to keep that in mind in the future.

The Woman In Me is out now. Go read it.

It’s your choice.