It’s been awhile since I’ve typed up anything regarding anime and I think that’s where these blogs shine which winds up being both a blessing or a curse since I think I did an ok job with my review for Once Upon a Time even though I didn’t do it weekly.

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*Still one of my favorite shows*

As some (or if not all) might have noticed I haven’t been blogging much of anything for the past few months over anything that I find interesting or the hobbies I do or what not. Along with my fan fic writing has also suffered due to whatever writer’s block I’ve been having and I think it’s time to set the record straight on some personal woes or frustration I’ve dealt with.

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*My inner Chandler*

This is just me getting it out there as a kind of cleanser and to reaffirm my own goals as someone who likes to write and that’s the first thing; writing or being a writer. I’ve never used the term “I’m a writer” in a general sense since I mostly see myself as an ameteur writing out of his ass or someone with a lot of thoughts that need to get jotted down on paper.

My term for “writer” is someone that is remotely famous in the book/blogging/fan fic sphere that takes their work to get judged and profit from it even if it’s free lancing.

Like say Piers Anthony for one; he is an author I am a fan of due to his Xanth series being a cornerstone of my late teen/early adulthood life. He’s like pushing 80 (more or less) and still continues to write his series despite his own limitations of being older and personal tragedy.; his books bring a sense of humor which I like with puns and naughty jokes which inspire my own lewd factor at times.

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I mean the whole “looking at a female’s panties to cause a guy’s eyes to glaze over” is some hardcore and fun stuff to my male mind and I’m not ashamed in the least to be facilitated and laugh my butt off over the various characters and adventures in the mythical and interesting world of Xanth where puns run rampant, people have one talent that make them either average or Magician level and Humphrey still being a grump with his daughter in law being one of the few people he will never be cross with.

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 Terry Brooks is another and his Shannara series really captured my imagination and even though at first I thought it would be a carbon copy of Lord of the Rings it was vastly different despite the similarity.  The lore of the Ohmsford blood line being that of the first King of Shannara and the royal elven family and others are rich with development as characters and story have good exploration of the world it’s in.

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Another one I can add to my list is one from the Light Novel side of things Reki Kawahara and his work in SAO and Accel World, the latter which is one of my favorite materials to read. Even though it is bogged down by tropes of one guy who seems to be average but winds up gaining an amazing power and be the focal point for female’s attention with his never say die attitude, the story has me with whatever development occurs per volume.

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Those are ones I can see as authors for an example. Me being a writer seems so lost on me since I’ve never even taken a writing class or anything offical; this is all self-taught. Sure I have a way of expressing myself more with typing (my writing skills on paper is horrendous which my mom still gripes about) but I’ve never said “Yeah I’m a writer”.

What does that mean anyway when identifying myself as such? Am I writer? I write only fan fics for goodness sake and that has taken a hard turn due to whatever I’m dealing with or the struggle having a full time job and not cranking out whatever I have in my head.

Am I a writer? Am I good enough to be doing this? Can I go about my dream of wanting to write for a way of life instead of  the current job I have?

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I’ve used social media as a  shield to deny my own problems of writing for awhile. And true I was doing a lot of live tweeting or being on twitter when I was bored and looking at the TL (timeline) just to pass the time. However with it being summer everything has come to a halt.

Though when I think on that I’ve discovered the answer; I’m running away from what I like. Using this and that as an excuse to hinder myself when I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be bound to social media to the extent my writing suffers. Of course I am also plagued with migraines so that factors in at times but I digress.

Being this is my own offtime from any major tweeting, though I am live tweeting Orphan Black on Saturday’s (if you haven’t seen it do yourself a favor and watch it now as it is an awesome series!) I think I can get back in the swing of things.

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Along with I think my mental skills have gotten weak with stuff since I’m not doing anything to strengthen my mind to learn new material. I’m also trying to get over my own self-doubt with getting my driver’s license. I’ve drove but never took the plunge to do it due to being scared for whatever reason or learning to deal with keeping the norm.

The thing with me is I don’t take the next step as I should due to liking the present. The present is nice and living in such a state of stagnant means nothing will change. Though in my heart I know that isn’t correct. Life isn’t worth fretting over things you (I) can do and I need to just do it even if I become driven down by thinking “what if this happens”.

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I have to take these steps to improve with what I like and the first is just being honest. This factors into me doing anime related blogs. I remember I did two “tryouts” earlier this year and I’ll say this, those didn’t pan out to what I thought. I’ll type up my thoughts for some anime related stuff at some point.

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So the factor in all this is I’m holding  myself back. Granted I won’t say I’m “a writer” since it’s embarrassing for me and this is just a hobby but to write stuff and make a world of your own imagination with influence from what I read is something I like to do…I just need to go for it.

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And not to just writing but to everything I have mentioned. I’m hoping over the course of this summer break with limited distractions on Twitter that I am able to get back to my roots on things and start writing again but not just for anyone reading this “somewhat woe is me story” but for me as it’s something I like to do.

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Writing is a (and excuse my word as I have nothing else to use or another word isn’t coming to me) beautiful. It holds great sway over someone’s mind along with reading can enrich one’s perspective, be it an actual book, manga or even magazine.

So I want to get back to the swing of things. I won’t say what I’ll type next but I will say it will be something I’m interested in. For anyone that gave this a chance and still follow this blog, thanks.

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Even if “likes’ have stopped coming in and making me question if I should do this still (lol). However I shouldn’t be validated just for likes as I need to be the one to feel I did something I’m passionate about.

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Again, no “when I will give hints” to my next blog but do look forward to what comes down the line, ok?

Reading this I do feel a slight pressure off my chest…I guess this works getting it out there?

Until the next…

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*Till next time*