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“Reflections of the way that life used to be…” lyrics by the Supremes and thinking on it this song holds water on the great(sinking)ship of life known as 2016.

It’s almost the end of the year and with that comes so many reflections of what’s happened to the world in general and own personal growth and struggles and unexpected sadness.

To say 2016 kicked everyone in the nutz or berry is an understatement. If we I were to look back on this year in some years I would say it just sucked.

But since by writing this to get the highs and lows off of my chest this can show how far it’s come. And with that lets begin!

*stares in silence for some moments*

Uh yeah, the most top information I have is just the amount of unexpected deaths of celebrities this year! It came one after another with a few having a lasting impact that has shaped everyone’s lives!

Sure we don’t know any of the celebs that reflect pop culture or shaped the foundation of improvement in the world with actions in matters of either music, race and what not but these parasocial relationships do shape us to degree that makes us have sadness, shock, awe and depression over the loss of life.

If 2016 had a tagline it would be the old Latin phrase “Memento Mori”; remember you are human. It means that no matter what happens in our lives we will die one day and it’s not to be scary but the fact of the wave of death that hit the celebrities at an astounding rate is unprecedented (from my perspective).

I think it began with the R&B singer Natalie Cole; I’ve heard of her but never listened to her music; I don’t do the “black” music as I’m told at times…seriously fuck that, music is music dammit, we need to get over the need to label EVERYTHING, but I digress, she was the first one hit which started this.

Then we move on to a couple of weeks then to a month and then it was the lady that wrote “To Kill a Mockingbird” Harper Lee. Even though she was old that was depressing for that book is one of my favorites that I can read again and still be engrossed with Scout and the rest.

David Bowie was next which was an impact! I mean the guy had hit songs in the 70’s and 80’s and in the cult classic “Labyrinth”. One of his songs was used in a season of American Horror Story: Freak Show, “Life on Mars”.

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Going to speed ball; Doris Roberts (The Nanny), Chyna (my goodness I remember her from that old VHI C-rated show where she was in the same house with Flava Flav), Prince; flipping Prince died and it stopped the world cold!! My mom still laments his passing along with a lot of others a fan of his music. The ones in Pop culture were also shocked like Kevin Smith that did a special passing on his podcast, Muhammed Ali,another big giant that shaped everything we know and proving he was the best, Anton Yelchin, another shocker as he had just finished Star Trek Beyond and died due to his jeep being pushed against him and only in his mid to late 20’s…that left me sad. The wave of emotion continues with one of the Arquette siblings passing away, Florence Henderson around Thanksgiving, Alan Thicke like weeks ago….one of the famous tv dads which hit me in the feels.

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George Michael passes on Christmas next thing a day before that Carrie Fisher is rushed to the hospital due to cardiac arrest. Thought she would come out of it alive by being stabilized a day after Christmas come to find out she passes on Tuesday! Not only that but a day after Debbie flipping Reynolds had a stroke due to losing Carrie and passed!!

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I will say those last two hit me deep! Both mother and daughter all in the same week? It’s tragic! Death is a part of life but when it just comes in like a hurricane it just brings sadness for many.

Along with another impactful event that shaped America as a whole, the presidential election and the outcome; Donald Trump, yes that same guy that made “your fired” *hand snake motion* famous from the Apprentice, is elected our 45th president of the United States of the America and will go into office January 17.

What the fu-how the-that was not supposed to happen!! Granted I had my doubts with Hillary Clinton (and not that annoying email shit) but Goddamn that was a hit in the nads!! Everyone was raised up to 11 with the unexpected outcome! Various races are scared for what “Trump America” will be like with a small but violent niche group of white supremacists running around telling other minorities their number is up to live in “their America.”

I actually had to go and see to make sure my mom was after the verdict and after she calmed down it was a rather morbid few days before I got over myself and realized that despite that this one powerful event shouldn’t make me go into any kind of despair. The population made their choice so we as a people and history will see and determine if tweetie-bird lips will do this country good or not.

I believe we will make it through these next four years by letting our actions and not hatred, prejudice and close minded bigots telling us anything otherwise. Yes, I wish things could be different but I see it as we can’t get everything we want and it will be the will of persevering through these times will get us through it. I for one never talk about my own political view for various reasons and I don’t care if someone is a republican or democrat, but let’s not think in despair that America will go down in some blaze of anarchy.

There will be happy times for each of us and should cherish them.

Another thing that sticks out in my head  is when it came to my friend Mike, @mmorse1017, having surgery to fit a pacemaker to cope with his Dystonia. Let’s just say it was an experience since I never dealt with the “friend having surgery” and something this linked to brain activity. However thanks to him linking some required reading for one’s ignorant to this syndrome (I never heard of it) and after getting the facts, much talking, everything is on point with him.. I’ve noticed Mike has gotten more confident with his content on twitter and speaking his mind more (within reason) so I’m happy for him that he’s happy? If that makes sense? (LOL).

Speaking of which, we had some good times this year and that went into Batman vs. Superman that came out in March!! The anticipated movie of Bats meeting Superman (despite fighting in the film) and it left us changed. I became a Superman fan due to it, with my adding “Batman is a dick!” to Mike’s amusement as I was sort of a Bat fan. I wrote a more detailed review here if you want to read my experience.

Then 2 months later we saw Captain America: Civil War which was awesome; we made a day out of that since it was Free Comic Book day and my first experience going to a comic store! And then the movie which was, as I said, awesome.  I saw it 2 other times which is saying something since I never see a movie but only once except BVS though the second time was for more review purposes.

Then Suicide Squad in August which was “meh” and then for our last superhero bro-out we ended it on Doctor Strange in November, a good movie.

We also had some growing pains which I think was beneficial for our friendship and learning about each other so I can say he’s a close friend I can depend on now.

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Don’t be thinking I go to the movies with a friend because I actually got out of my comfort zone this year and went about my movie going habits by myself which was cool! I saw some decent movies which I made some reviews on in my blog this year which I’m very proud of! From Keanu, Bad Moms, Wardogs, Sausage Party, they were some fun movies!

The whole love factor didn’t play this year; I went through unrequited love earlier in the year which has come full circle and I’m more chill now. I do want to find that woman just for me so here’s hoping 2017 will go my way in that department.

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I also want to say my writing has gotten good though I feel I need to pace my reviews as just that and not give a play-by-play; work in progress but I’m a decent learner and trying to accept criticism so, yay!

Books are another facet about me that I enjoy and I was able to get into two series; one called “Midnight Texas” that brings together Charlaine Harris various characters secondary/minor or new from her supernatural/mystery books from The Southern Vampire Mysteries/Lily Bard/Harper Connelly, it’s a nice mesh in this sleepy Texas town where vampires, witches, were-shifters and even normals are a small community dealing with unexpected mysterious that hit their area all the while trying to prevent outsiders from figuring out that there is more to Midnight that meets the eye.

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The second book series I got into is the Family Skeleton mysterious where a moving and talking skeleton by the name of Sid lives with Georgia Thakey and her daughter when the latter moves back into her parents house. He’s a wisecracking skull that likes anime and has mastered the internet and has various social media to keep him occupied while helping Georgia solve mysterious that drop on her lap despite her being a English Professor trying to get a stable job to get tenue. It’s another witty series I can enjoy and actually laughed loudly while going into work.

I’ve also made some headway with light novels like Accel World with the latest one coming out a week before Christmas and one I plan on reading soon enough. For my fan fiction writing it’s hit a snag due to being lazy which I plan on rectifying in 2017 with being diligent with them and just learning to keep of social media when I have the urge to write.

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This is a little surprising but my future goal is to be a writer and actually get paid for it or even writing a book. Not sure how that will go but I just know that is my passion while I still maintain my job at the law firm but it has it’s back and forths (with the main job).

Dealing with the metro work around April to June was also an annoying experience; getting off one stop to take a bus to get to the next stop while the technicians work on the tracks. Let’s just say when it finally finished everyone probably started celebrating in their heads due to that massive inconvenience.

Another worthwhile matter is I got into getting figurines and POP figures and I have made a decent haul. I am planning on getting more in the upcoming new year.

My gaming lover is going good this year as well! I’ve played some RPG’s after a long while like Megadimension Neptunia VII, one I’m still playing I actually got the DL of Million Arthur and two other characters to make the game interesting. Final Fantasy 15 which came out in November and it is just awesome! The bromance is real from the four main characters with the action mechanics being good and being weak with the side quest getting repetitive but I’m still strong with it. Blazblue Central Fiction is another game I am enjoying and I am a big Blazblue fan and despite it coming out in it’s original Japanese subbed without an American company dubbing it with Patrick Seitz, Cristina Vee, Vincent David, to name a few, the story is holding up! The game fighting mechanics is cool despite trying to figure out how to use their Astral Finishes in “Style Mode”. Though I will say I’ve gotten better with using the control pad for said finishes so it’s cool.

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Anime, my first love, has become secondary to me due to either my age or fandom on social media that got on my nerves. I’ll say more the latter but my own knowledge of it has become, sadly, twisted. The fandom as a whole just killed it for me and due to that I am planning on just giving on the whole “unification of fans”. I know that there is some that aren’t mean about it but it’s just…well everything that revolves around it.

It used to bring me such joy but now with all these weebs coming out the woodwork and me learning NOT to always give an opinion it just feels cheap. I don’t, mostly care for the new stuff depending on what it is. I don’t even dabble in that group made by that youtube guy anymore due to an experience on there that made me embarrassed. I’m actually planning on leaving that group in the coming new year as a refresh.  Anime doesn’t hold my attention much anymore and I am being more drawn to what I like, the ones I grew up with that made me happy and excited.

I guess the loss of innocence (not sexual) is what I’m lamenting. The thing I loved and a big facet for myself has become corrupt by the new generation and I will not get it back. Along with I think I’ve been experiencing some minor depression as of late or being sad?

I’m no doctor but with my recent Christmas activity it left me…less than hopeful due to family and some important issues that started which left me distressed and to this moment, sad. Getting emotional and what not is out of the ordinary for me so I’m not sure what this means in the long run.

It’s just I’m not used to these negative emotions and with Twitter being something of a pain now I’m not sure where this leaves me. Everything I like or liked seems to be turning against me. Not sure but I am thinking I should just drop twitter? Not like many will miss me…I actually have a plan to just say “Goodbye twitter” and disable my account.

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This is just emotion speaking but it’s just too much I guess; expectation of what you need to do, what you should do and if I have enough friends, it leaves me wondering what’s the point. No girlfriend, can’t say what I truly feel with family which leaves me bitter, I just wanna know where is my bluebird of happiness? I feel that 2017 could be my more important times in my life that will make me question many things in my life.

Anyway going to work on the positive; this year, mostly in November, I decided to watch Gilmore Girls. It’s a show I watched a little when it was on WB before it ended but I had a vague experience with it. So one Sunday morning I decided to hit netflix and push play…fuck me it was awesome!! I became so engrossed with Lorelei’s drama, Rory’s spoiled and kind nature, Emily’s snark and all of the Star’s Hollow gang quips and strangeness left me watching all 7 seasons in the span of a month in a half before finishing it around December! I got the full gist and I know it will be something I can go back too.  Of course I’m a guy so watching a “female” show had it’s interesting convo’s with my friends Sarah and Heather (who were cool) with Mike on the other hand having some good jokes like “Jeff I told you that show gives you feels!” or “It leaves getting all feels and philosophical!” which in turn gave us another “Breakfast club moment” as in we fought and made up and became stronger bros. I actually watched the first 2 seasons due to Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life was coming on the week of Thanksgiving and I binged watched all 4 episodes in 6 hours leaving me wanting more!!

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Daredevil season 2 also dropped this which was awesome sauce and then finally Luke Cage which was also cool sauce! I also watched Fuller House season one and it has potential; get rid of the old guard and cameo and DJ and the rest can carry the show. Currently watching season 2 and I’m laughing my butt off!

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Comic reading has gotten good despite a rocky start; I’ve been reading and liking DC Rebirth: Superman a lot due to it’s the pre-52 version and married to Lois Lane and having a son named Jon with the same ability as him. Extraordinary X-men is okay along with Uncanny and All-New X-men. Luke Cage and Iron Fist comic has become one of my favorites along with Spider-Man (Miles Morales), Scarlet Witch, Jessica Jones, Hellcat and a little of Avengers.

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However one comic has gotten my attention more than DC and Marvel and this is an independent one by the name of Locke & Key. This one exceeded my expectations with the story, endearing plot, loveable characters and nice themes of family along with added measure of gore and a dark fantasy where siblings discover keys at an old house their father used to live in Connecticut and a growing evil that wants said keys. Each key has a unique power that they can use; one can alter size, another can make you a ghost and various other ones. But there is a reason for the keys and the evil out for the Locke children. It has awesome dialogue which I enjoyed along with Stephen King’s son was the one to write it with the art being on point as well. I am planning on doing some review on it due to it had an impact on my life which is something I liked.

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On another bad part in December my grandfather passed away and was 91. It was far more shocking that he passed than weeping. That’s not to say I am still not saddened but it hit my grandma hard though and she is currently living with my other relatives. I also learn she has dementia…and this is some shaken news.

This also corresponds with my Christmas; it began good but ended with me in some despair. My aunt and uncle, my mom’s younger siblings, gather me downstairs in the basement with my cousin, trying to convince or rather tell me that family is all we got, that I (and mom) should be “pulling our weight” and pretty much talking down to me like I don’t know the full gravity of the situation and being “family oriented”. The Coup de Gra was what my uncle said, “Family is important but what will you do if you’re mom dies? You live across a bridge and will be all alone”.

Well let’s just say my evening turned to crap. I got home and was in a wave of depression that I fall asleep with no happiness or anything; have a nightmare that my mom did pass (due to that “talk”), going downstairs to make sure she was all right and break down sobbing like a kid. It took mom a couple of minutes to calm me down and said we would be all right.

Now I’ll say I don’t do any part in seeing my “family” but there is just a lot of internal strife, along with they give off an air of superiority and “we have to do everything there” when it comes to either Thanksgiving or more with Christmas. The same thing every year…except I’m older.

To be honest I am just tired of doing the same thing, nothing changes and with this new added factor, we all will be on the look out for grandma but those words and this new issue, it’s made me realize I don’t really depend on them, I can’t. I love them but I’ll be damned if I have to have anything to do with them.  Made myself a promise that if anything, heaven’s forbid anything happens to my mom and grandma, I’m done with them. They are the only thing keeping me going and interacting.

I love my cousins but we have pretty much moved on with our lives and I am fully aware my two cousins are the highlight of the family…I’ve always felt I never could match up. I do read between the lines with how they say something and they underestimate me.

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So you can say I have some rather strong issues which could be a major factor in 2017. I do hope everything will be good but I’ll be keeping an eye out.

I make this out to the ones that shaped my year; to Mike; your a close buddy of mine and enjoy the company and our talks about anything. Heather; you are someone I’m glad to call you a friend. Charlie; a bro to talk about lewd stuff with and other stuff! Natasha, Chris, Guy; I appreciate you guys too for various things.

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I’m also glad I have a father figure who I consider a dad in my life; John you were my teacher in my late teens/early 20’s and glad to call you dad. You are a big part of my development now and love you like a son and proud of ya old bastard.

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My hope is that no matter what occurs in the future that I-we, we can continue to deal with whatever happens. There will be dark times but there is something worth continuing to strive for.

Let’s ring in 2017 with a bang and continue holding onto hope, no matter what happens in the “Trump years”.

To anyone that reads this or my other blogs; thank you. I will continue building my craft but more importantly for me. I do love writing and want to be some kind of writer one day.

Let’s hit it off everyone; later days!

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*Until next year!*