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Greetings! I’m Jeff and today I will be reviewing the lackluster Fantastic Four.

*Sadly not so.*

This has hit me in my feelings hard this past weekend when I saw Fantastic Four with one of my best buds, @mmorse1017 aka Snorlax senpai or simply Mike. That will lead you to his own page where he writes reviews and other random stuff as well.

We both somewhat new what we were getting ourselves into due too social media along with reviews of this movie.  In 2 past blogs I mentioned (Fantastic Four Love) & (The End is Fourever) that the Fantastic Four is my main team in all comics and seeing how it didn’t amount to much was disappointing.

However I say this now; it wasn’t that bad as the reviews and butthurt fanboys claimed and I’ll get to my own theory soon.

The movie stars Miles Teller, who plays Reed Richards/Mister Fantastic, Kate Mara as Susan Storm/Invisible Woman, Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm/Human Torch, Jamie Bell as Ben Grimm/The Thing, Toby Kebbel as Victor Von Doom/Doctor Doom and Reg E. Cathey as Dr. Franklin Storm.

The film was directed by Josh Trank and that’s all I will say on that director.

Now where do I start with this review? Granted what hasn’t been said about this flop of a movie that didn’t even win back the proceeds?

Let me say, as a whole the movie did have potential but due to the script the performances by these actors/actresses didn’t get the boost it needed which left it lack luster, to my own regret.

Rumors spread like wildfire during production that Trank was isolated and unruly which made doing anything uncomfortable but other sources claim that wasn’t the case.

Not sure what to believe but rumors have an ounce of truth to them, not that I’m defending this given his own behavior of not even fending off the haters reviews of the movie in the first place and blaming it on FOX, you know, the evil organization?

First, this movie is based more off the Ultimate version and not the original universe of 616 so some info will be different, Sue being a scientist for example. Second, this group are teenagers, they aren’t adults so they would be doing some things that teens normally do. Thirdly (and disappointing) they don’t go by any of their codenames, not even in the ending.

Ok let me begin (given this will be short) the movie begins with a young Reed Richards in his class for show and tell that he will build a transporter, teacher dismisses him and as he goes back to his seat Ben Grimm is there looking at his formula with intrigue.

Yes, in this incarnation they met as kids and I can go with that but here’s where I get a raised eyebrow, Ben arrives home but there isn’t a Yancy Street. Yes, there is no Yancy Street, New York in this incarnation which is a strike one for me. For you know Ben is a New Yorker growing up in the streets of Yancy where he was raised by his “Sweet Aunt Petunia”.

His home life is broken where his older brother bullies him, which is surprising given in the comics Ben respected his brother besides the fact running the Yancy Street Gang, but I digress. None of that in this universe.

Ben soon hears a noise where he sees Reed and the latter looking for something for his transporter. Ben agrees to let him have whatever the hell he needed, they walk back to Reed’s house and he begins the experiment. It causes a massive black out in the neighborhood.

Ben: Reed…you are completely mad!

Reed: I know!

Flash forward a decade and the duo are in high school at a science fare where Reed will display his transporter to everyone. It works but not in the way it expected and he gets disqualified.

Of course what kind of movie would this be without an olive branch? Who but appears but Dr. Franklin Storm and his daughter, Susan Storm.  He decides to take his idea to the place he works due to what he invented which makes Reed excited.

Not that it matters but clearly this set fans in a frenzy of turmoil; Dr. Storm is black with Susan being his adopted daughter via a young age, so she grew up with Johnny but more on that soon.

Anyway shit happens, Reed goes to the Baxter building, which isn’t a apartment complex but more of a lab full of nerds kind of sanctuary. Reed bonds with Sue briefly, who listens to music while she works (it goes into what she works on)

Now this part I found intriguing given this time around she is a scientist in her own right. While not the genius intellect up to par with Reed or Victor, she holds her own. Along with her hair was perfect and I could tell that this would be a Susan Storm I’d enjoy so I am happy that Kate did good despite not reading the material due to what the director told her.

Dr. Storm soon goes to Victor Doom, who isn’t even a Latverian or Gypsy descent this time around but a kicked out student from the Baxter place. He makes a snarky remark about his former teacher being at his place. Storm explains that he found someone who came up with Vic’s idea of the transporter but with more detail (or something like that. It’s an effing transporter lets leave it at that.)

The emo teen refutes that before Dr . Storm shows him the data. After getting all huffy and asking if Susan will be there, he agrees to come back to the program.

We soon meet Johnny as he gets in trouble for drag racing, ends up with a broken arm and soon working with his dad at the lab to help build the transporter in order to get his car back.

He’s a technician so he meshes well with Reed, Sue and Victor. You noticing how Ben isn’t even part of this? Yeah me too.

So after sometime they all finish it, the military get involved (which is a plot device and rather annoying) and the military dude just gives them a “thanks for doing the job now leave this to the big boys” speech.

It pisses off everyone as Dr. Storm tells them he will take care of it since he previously told them that (the kids) would be the ones to test the invention to go into that diffrent dimension.

Victor, Reed and Johnny soon get drunk as “stretch” gets the idea of using the transporter first before the butt wipes. They all agree and Reed soon contacts Ben saying to him he was the one to stick by him and wouldn’t go without him. Ben agrees and soon the quartet go inside the transporter and end up in the placed dubbed “Zero earth”.

*Da…*

Let me stop and say why that? The script or writers couldn’t have linked this to the Negative zone?

So they explore the area with awe until the ground erupts with green energy or as as Mike called it, ooze from TMNT’s 92 movie, and they head for the hills.

Energy is destroying the place as Victor seems to die. Reed, Ben and Johnny get back to the transporter but find out they can’t get it to work.

On the other side, Susan, who figured out what was happening, had to get the corrdinates to get the boys back but the doors weren’t shut for them as rocks get in Ben’s locker, flames for Johnny and not sure with Reed.

After a tense moment Sue is able to bring them back however as the machine returns stray energy sweeps by her and she too is exposed.

Soon our group is in custady of the military where they are experiencing changes in their biological makeup. Reed is stretching, Sue is in a coma going invisible, Johnny is a living flame and Ben trapped in rock.

Soon Reed wakes up and hears his best friend’s cry for help, escapes and sees what happened to Ben!
Reed is understandably shocked that his own hubris did this to his best friend!

He promises to help him but had to escape to do that. Rubberband man flees leaving his buddy hanging which marks a plot device for these two.

A year passes and Ben is made into a weapon where he’s killed 43 people which leaves him sad but apparently gets over it…stupid script! Make him lament more!!

*One minute, need to release my aggravation on this random demon*

Sue and Johnny are testing more with their powers, Johnny is thrilled but Sue is catious along with Johnny gets in a fight with his dad.

It is shown that the military are trying to make another transporter with Dr. Storm but he didn’t have all what he needed since Reed was a major player in it along with Sue. They needed to find Reed so Franklin persuades his daughter.

Soon with Sue’s help they are able to find Reed, who is trying to make his own device, is soon captured by Ben. The big guy is angry at Reed for leaving him. After a brief fight they are transported where they have a discussion but it doesn’t take off.

Reed is reunited with Sue and Johnny, the latter who is happy seeing him again. Sue was rather stiff but you know she’s happy.

The makeshift team of military folk go through the portal and soon find it different from what Reed says, it’s as if some one changed the scenery…

They soon find Victor, who has merged with his suit and is now living armor and brought back.

*Sigh* now this is where it falls hard on its ass.

Victor pretty much recovers before declaring that world is better where he is creating something and humans would pollute Zero Earth so he goes on a killing spree where half the scientist and personnel are having their heads blown off.

The problem with this is that the movie never explains Doom’s powers! You have to guess he has some form of telekinesis or speeds up molecules in the target till they explode?

*AHA!!*

Way to go movie, you officially killed the nobility of Doctor Doom…

*Really, GJ movie.*

Almost there y’all, stay with me!!

As mayhem is happening at the base Dr. Storm finds Victor back at the portal and gives him the speech that “humans aren’t gods” and he gets ganked as our heroes makes their way to him.

Sue and Johnny are understandably devastated by this while Reed tries to go to Victor but ends up blasted to a wall and Ben ends up worried for him.

Whoa who’d have thought after they had a row with one another and bringing up that Reed leaft Ben and the latter knocking out the big brain before all hell broke loose?

Anyway after this Johnny flies inside the tube with Susan following by creating a shield with Reed and Ben inside and levitates them through. I actually found this part really cool!!

They soon land where Victor does a minor speech about him wanting to destroy humanity by sucking our world into zero world where people will die through the gate.  I’m thinking their bodies couldn’t survive the trip due to the amount of energy the gate is using.

I think something like this will happen.

*Ooze*

Individually the group battles Victor who takes care of them flawlessly before Reed gathers them together for the make shift speech of “One for all and all for one” deal.

*By all our powers combined…*

After an impressively volley of attacks from the Storm siblings Ben rushes in like a bull and gives his most famous quote “It’s clobberin time!!!” and sends Victor flying.

Now this is where I forget what happens but I think Reed gets in a strike before Johnny flies him into the gate where Victor is destroyed and it starts closing.

Soon Sue gets the team out of there and they all come back to our earth. Boy after saving the world from a portal of sucking life into you’d think a bunch of New Yorkers would be there to celebrate?

*My inner Yang*

The not named team meets with some military officials giving them a talk that “the world doesn’t know what you did but we do” etc., which leads the group making a stand that they won’t be weapons and want there own place.

Of course it’s not in New York but in some haven where they will have a lot of science stuff, along with (I’m assuming) practice more with their powers and make the world a better place.

As the four are together they wonder what they should call themselves and this is where Johnny and Ben’s row happens…really?  Half the movie they didn’t even interact and you doing that now?

I know it can be assumed they bonded in the year that isn’t mentioned but it would have been nice to see!!

So Ben says the word “Fantastic” in a sentence and Reed comes up with the name. Of course before he can say it the screen goes blank and the words Fantastic Four come on the screen.

And that’s all she wrote.

Yup that’s the entirety of the movie (give or take) and not really a spoil given the movie did bad.

I give the movie a 6 out of 10 rating for enjoyment and plot.

Now where did it fall short? First it was the character development. It’s mostly this in a nut shell; Reed/Ben, Reed/Sue, Reed/Victor, Reed/Johnny, minor Sue/Johnny, Reed/Johnny/Victor and that’s what she wrote.

Yeah where was the development of all the core characters as a group? You know build relationships to have that affinity with one another as a family? And not that hash of an ending!

I will say I enjoyed the performances since they worked their butts off. It’s not their fault the movie did bad.

I’d like to add Stan Lee wasn’t even in a scene of this which I was shocked! I mean him and Jack Kirby made this team and for all intense and purposes it’s their child.

FUCK ME IN THE ASS!!

Another thing I find infuriating is the fans themselves regarding this. When it was first revealed that FF reboot would happen everyone gritted their teeth and were cynical with it. As it gathered steam word got out it would be different as a different re-telling of the origins along with that Michael B. Jordan would play the Human Torch, which put people against it.

Not trying to make it a race thing but from the comments I saw on Facebook…actions speak louder than words. I’ll say I was skeptical with it since Sue and Johnny are biologically brother and sister but as the year passed I got over my misgivings and after seeing the movie he is a cool Human Torch.

Another way to link that people had some prejudice with the casting is that whole Idris Elba being the gate keeper in the Thor movies? Yup, same clowns. They shut up real quick when they saw him in that movie and did a good job.

Now putting that off the table the way they got their powers is intriguing but kind of weak given it was some material bonding to their DNA to give them powers, as I mentioned above.  I mean a blast of light gives Sue her power? Yeah, I prefer cosmic radiation on them, at least they weren’t unconscious…you know not that long.

Another reason the movie failed was that critics and journalists (I believe) “broke embargo” before it’s time and the butt-hurt fanboys, who already had misgivings with this in the first place, actually went with the critics which affected everyone’s mindset of not going.

Yeah I know, it’s people’s choice and the movie did suffer due to the director and/or FOX but it still stings.  The Fantastic Four can make it as a blockbuster and has the potential but needs better direction, no matter who owns the rights (even though I would be happy if the FF went home with Marvel).

Along with you have to remember the Fantastic Four are a team that has saved the world but they are pioneers that explore the unknown and use their unique gifts in battle or even in their daily lives; should have seen Susan handling the rambunctious kids of the Future Foundation.

Not all teams have to be the effing Avengers with Cap, Thor, Iron Man and Hulk leading the charge with explosions for some dynamic big battles and forget the humans like Hawkeye and Black Widow, who Marvel forgets and made her lack luster in A2AOU.

Their sexist, let’s call it for what it is. Joss Wheadon didn’t deserve the fanboys/girls coming out of the woodworks and making him leave twitter. And that is what happened with the FF.

Of course another reason is social media, great outlet to express ourselves but it can put you in the pooper if not careful. Trank actually sent a tweet about “losing control of the movie” before taking it down but the damage was done and that was the last shot.

So that’s it. Potential in a movie wasted on a bad script. Again I say, do not blame the actors who played the roles well IMO.

Mike and I found it “ok” and on the same page but damn it was bad on some levels that it was worst than “Batman and Robin” that came out in 97, and that’s a deuce we don’t want to acknowledge. Even though I did enjoy the corny-ass jokes and what not for BAR.

Moral of the story? Well…don’t fuck up a movie that is dear to fans of the product. Now if I’m being harsh with my opinions than sorry.  I’ve been batting away the comments and naysayers for a while now.  It’s just sad that no one really gave the movie a chance…I honestly do see a diamond in the rough for FF being great.

Not for my sake but more for everyone who enjoys watching a superhero team have more of a bond than just mere friendship, the FF are a family first and foremost and whatever the future holds I want them to shine brightly.

Apparently the sequel is still going to happen by FOX so let’s get prepared in 2 years and hope it’s better than this stinker.

I once again had a fun time with Mike; given there weren’t much people in the theater we goofed off with making jokes. Fun shit that was LOL!

*What once was*

*Great Balls of fire!!*

This is JGoten30 signing out!

Reach for the stars FF…

*The samsara goes on*

 

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